Dealing with my self esteem

When someone tells me, “oh utibeno, your low self esteem is going to hinder you from going far,”

I smile and tell the person, “you are wrong and it won’t because I don’t have any self esteem.”

My self esteem has gone from low to completely unexisting and it has darkened with the years, every path, every road I take leads me through a crooked, evil creepy corner that eats up my soul into burning crumples.

So I have deviced a means to somehow, in a… Little, almost rebellious way to deal with my zero self esteem issue… I have decided to change my look, I figured changing my outside appearance will slightly change my inside, I’m scared it won’t but trying won’t kill, right?

So, I started with

  • Cutting my hair: fresh start but never want to grow it again, feel that will take me back to what I am trying to leave behind
  •  I dyed my hair (black)
  • Get my ears pierced,  {not done yet, will do when I return to school, can not go crazy at home… Right? Lol}
  • Cry on bed less, cry in the toilet in front of the mirror more, atleast that way I can remind myself that I am worthy of love while staring at myself in the mirror.
  • Delete all my songs and download songs that really defined my emotions.

All these put together, I am pretty messed up, lol.

This picture from Google


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